One Snarky Chica with Issues

Sundays visit relationship/family issues

For me, weekends are usually when I get to see extended family due to the fact that we live close, just not close enough for during the week visits. In fact, later today I will be heading over to see my sister-in-law and nephews for dinner. I love seeing them, yet I hate it at the same time because it is difficult seeing someone you care about and knowing that they are not happy.

See, my sister-in-law (I’ll call her “Tara”) is married to her second husband and has 2 kids with 2 different fathers. She doesn’t love the man she is currently married to, who is the father of one of the kids. They fight rather often, but stay together for two reasons mainly - the 2 boys. Tara thinks she is doing the right thing by giving the kids a family with two parents. She doesn’t stop to realize how this unhappy relationship affects the kids in a not so positive manner. The oldest is around 13, which means he’s old enough to recognize the fighting for what it is. He’s probably even old enough to realize that there is no love between the 2 adults and that they are only together for the kids. It’s heartbreaking.

I don’t have kids, but I’m sure I will at some point in my life. When I do, I hope that I can remember that my kids will only be happy if I am happy. And they will know if I’m faking it. See, when we are out with Tara and other members of the family she laughs and jokes with everyone, but as soon  as she thinks no one is looking the sadness creeps in and is clearly visible on her face.

I understand that if she ends her marriage that she might feel like a failure as it is husband #2. I understand that she wants her kids to have a 2-parent family. But sometimes staying together for the kids is not the best option. Kids are not at oblivious to what is going on as adults seem to think.