One Snarky Chica with Issues

I’m a big proponent of knowing what you want and asking for it if necessary. The way I see it, the worst that can happen is that you are told ‘no’ to whatever you are asking for. So, why don’t more people do this? Because we don’t like to be told ‘no’ when we want something. In our twisted little minds, it’s better to want but not ask. Why do we do this? Maybe we are telling ourselves that the gatekeeper won’t let us have it. Of course, we do not know that without asking, but still. And sometimes I think there is a twisted thought pattern where people think that by denying themselves of something that they want that they are some kind of martyr or something.

This is just purely speculation on my part though. See, I like to ask for things when I want them. I’ve been told ‘no’ my fair share of times, but I think I’ve probably been told ‘yes’ more. A great example is the last post I made on Friday. I wrote about wishing I could get rewarded with yummy ice cream for having to do a most unpleasant task at work. After posting that, I went to my boss’s desk and stated my case. Guess what? Next Monday is set to be free ice cream day in the office. (There’s an ice cream shop within walking distance of the office)

She could have told me no. And I’d have grumbled about it. But I still would have to do the task that is unpleasant. But she just made it a tad bit more bearable.

Asking for what you want has uses other than just acquiring ice cream at work. How many people complain about their salary and their desire for a salary increase, yet never ask for it? When I was 17, and silly enough to think that spending a year at a job meant you were entitled to a raise, I asked my boss for a salary increase. When he finished laughing, he explained to me that my mere presence at work for a specific time period did not constitute a need for a salary increase. Clearly, I did not get a salary increase, but I did try and I did gain some information that was valuable to me at that age.

You can apply the same principle to relationships. I don’t know how many times I have heard a friend complain about liking someone that they could not ask about due to that person being “out of their league.” Nonsense. All you have to do is ask, and the worse case scenario is a big fat NO.