One Snarky Chica with Issues

I dunno about you guys, but I try to surround myself with people that can offer encouragement and motivation. And I tell them my hopes and dreams because then I have someone to be accountable to. I know that if I get lazy I’ll have someone in my corner cheering me on and reminding me to focus.

On the flip side, I try to be this for other people as well. But what do you do when your friend would rather wallow in self-pity than work towards their goals?

I have a friend that has been wallowing for about 5 years now. We met in college, lived in the same town for a while before I went one direction and she went the other. She moved back in with her family and I to another town. She was going to go to grad school, she was going to write a book and so much more. Instead, she has spent the past 5 years doing data entry and little else. well, except for reality tv and her obsession with acquiring things.

She pays no rent yet is in debt due to daily spending sprees on books, movies and other things. She hasn’t gone back to school, hasn’t written a book or anything else. But she does have over 800 DVDs, well she boasts about it, and she stays up watching the Big Brother live feed each time that show is on a new season. She also has no savings and does not contribute to her 401K at work, where her company matches 5%.

I’ve told her how easy it is to self-publish books and I’ve also sent her book contests. I’ve discussed online degree programs with her. I’ve discussed the power of compound interest. Meanwhile, she fills my email inbox with forwards and youtube clips. She recently told me that she only sleeps a few hours a night because she feels like it is a waste of time. I asked her what she was doing that was so important that she deny her body of sleep. I hoped to hear she was working feverishly on a book. “Nothing LOL” is what she told me. It told her it was a shame she was hurting her body with a lack of sleep and if she insisted on doing so that she should at least do something productive. She didn’t respond but I did get 2 new youtube clips to view from her.

It’s sad. I think she will regret losing all of this time at some point. I just don’t know how to get through to her though. You could argue that maybe this is how she wants to spend her time, maybe she is happy doing what she is doing. I know she’s not, as she’s told me as much. I suppose it is possible that she is more severely depressed that I have knowledge of, but even so, how to make her realize that?