One Snarky Chica with Issues

I struggle a lot with believing in myself. You may recognize the symptoms: always second guessing your self, not doing something you want to do because you think you’ll fail, having too many regrets about not doing something, and so on.

I think that sometimes it is hard to pinpoint what it is what is making us not believe in ourselves because I think that it changes. Sometimes it is due to low self esteem. Sometimes it is due to a lack of self confidence. Sometimes it is just plain old fear. Sometimes it is our environment. Sometimes it is due to depression. Sometimes it is because someone else told us we couldn’t do this or that.

That means that not only do you have to overcome the hurdle of believing in your self but you have to see if you can find out what is behind you not believing in your self. For instance, on PostSecret this week there is a secret where someone is over age 50 and about to start college but scared that they cannot do it. Why? They had to meet the requirements to be accepted the same as everyone else. Granted, it doesn’t say what type of college it is and in my experiences a community college will accept you as long as you can put your name on the application But still. My point is she can probably do it; she just needs to believe in herself.

Easier said that done, eh?

It’s true, it is a difficult thing to overcome, especially if you have been conditioned to think that way for quite some time. The good news is that you can overcome it. You can achieve what you want. You can make decisions that you are proud of and that you can stand by. You can rely on your self. And you can overcome obstacles that present themselves in your path.

Start with small things.

No one says you have to tackle the greatest obstacle in your life today. Let’s say you want to be a singer but don’t think you can do it. Don’t rush right in, just dip your feet in the corner of the pool. See, the water is fine. Maybe you should start by singing infront of a spouse, friends or family. Then gradually work your way up. These small victories will help keep you surging ahead.

Tackle fear by imaging the worst.

If fear is holding you back it is time to sit down and see what the worst situation could be by you believing in your self. Usually the answer has to do with failure. It’s not so horrible. Trust me, I’ve failed at many things but at least I tried. I have also excelled at things that I thought I would fail at. It’s a risk that is worth taking. As soon as you realize that you will be on your way! In fact Walt Disney declared bankruptcy several times before Mickey Mouse came about.

Be accountable to your self.

Remember that what you are doing you are doing for your self, not someone else. That means if you want to take that risk but your sister says not to, well, you should take that risk. If no one else believes in you then you have to believe in your self. Sure, you may fail but you will know that you tried and you won’t be beating your self up years down the road with the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” that so many people do.

Look for inspiration.

It will be hard, so you have to look for motivation and inspiration when and where you can. An easy way to do this is to have little positive mantras on your mirrors and walls, in your car and so on. If you need some suggestions, here are some great quotes:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. - David Brinkley

Whether you think you can or think you can’t - you are right. - Henry Ford

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. - Vincent Van Gogh

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson