Trying to help a friend that just thinks she wants help
You know what is frustrating? Trying to help someone that SAYS that they want and need help but through their actions say otherwise.
I have a friend that asked me a few weeks ago to help her get a handle on her finances. She makes over $40,000 a year, lives with family (which means she doesn’t pay any rent), has minimal student loans and minimal credit card debt. Actually she doesn’t have much debt period - yet she is having trouble paying her bills.
Now I have known for some time that she needed some financial advice. However, I knew that giving it to her was no good unless she asked for it. So, I was thrilled when she asked for some advice a few weeks ago. She wants to pay off her credit cards. Her car loan is paid off in a couple of months, she has around $10,000 in student loans and some credit card debt.
I am no financial guru by any means, but I have certainly been in that position of being lost when it comes to financial stuff, so I told her what I knew. And for what I didn’t, I sent her a copy of “Your Money or Your Life” as part of her Christmas present.
Sadly I have come to realize that she is not ready to help herself just yet. She hasn’t read the book and she hasn’t done anything I suggested. What she has done is spent New Year’s Eve gambling at a casino, taken a vacation trip out of town, seen an average of three movies per weekend at the theater and went on a few shopping sprees at the bookstore and the mall. Clearly, saying she wants to get out of debt and her actions do not exactly jive.
It’s frustrating seeing her waste all of this money, but what can you do? Nothing. I can only wait until she really decides that she is serious about it. She told me today that she is living paycheck to paycheck. Then she told me about a movie she wants to get from Amazon.com. *sigh*
January 8th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I hate to be bitchy about it but there’s no point in caring about these people if they don’t care about themselves.
I think she’s still waiting for Prince Charming to come along and save her from her fiery debt… I have a friend JUST like this
January 8th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
You know, while it does sound harsh I think you are spot on! That is totally what she is doing.
January 10th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. In this case, I agree, it seems like she is waiting for her prince charming to come along and “save her”.
I would at least hope she would pay some sort of rent while living at home or at least have a savings plan. But from what I can see, she is going to go from her parents home to her husbands home and never understand what it’s like to have to pay rent, utilities, etc.
Must be nice to have that much money and no obligations. You’ve done what you can do, the rest is up to her.